My Little Ponies
by Miss Annabel Lenore Ragg
Summary: "Have you ever noticed how freaky My Little Ponies look when they're faced straight at you?" Our Demon Barber of Fleet Street puts forth this damning question...and silliness ensues. Crack!


A/N: This is what happens when you try to cure writers' block by coloring in a "My Little Pony" coloring book. Crack! and OCC-ness.

Me no own, you no sue

My Little Ponies

Mrs. Lovett was rolling out a batch of dough for her pies when Sweeney walked into the shop.

"Mrs. Lovett, can I ask you something?" Sweeney said.

"What is it, love?" Mrs. Lovett said, not looking up from her work.

"Have you ever noticed how freaky _My Little Ponies _look when they're faced straight at you? I mean, they look fine when you look at them from the side, but if you look at them from the front they look more like _Demented Little Ponies._ Their faces are really freaky looking."

Mrs. Lovett looked at him puzzled. "No, love, I 'aven't. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, just wondering." He said.

Mrs. Lovett put down her rolling pin and began to stare at him like he was a total moron.

"What?" he said a little annoyed and hurt. "It's not like I play with them…any more." He glanced to the side, avoiding her accusing stare.

Mrs. Lovett chuckled. "Mr. Todd, seriously, _My Little Ponies _?"

Sweeney turned his eyes back to her and glared at her darkly as Toby entered the shop.

"I love My Little Ponies!" Toby said enthusiastically. "Mum, can I have a pony?"

"No." Mrs. Lovett answered.

"Why not?" he said.

"Because there's no room. Where do you suppose we'd put a pony?" she said.

"I don't know," Toby shrugged. "The parlor maybe?"

"Toby, seriously, a pony in the parlor? Hey, I just made an alliteration! Anyway, do ya know how much they cost to take care of, and not to mention the enormous mess they make. So, no, you're not getting a pony." Mrs. Lovett said.

"How about a dog then?" he asked

"How about, no." Mrs. Lovett replied.

"Then, a cat?"

"No."

"Rabbit?"

"No."

"Bird?"

"No."

"Goldfish?"

"No."

"Goat?"

"No, and why the heck would want a goat for?" Mrs. Lovett said sternly.

"I don't know, I was running out of animals." He said.

Mrs. Lovett just shook her head and rolled her eyes at the boy.

"Oh, what about a unicorn!" Toby said excitedly.

Mrs. Lovett slapped herself in the face. "Toby, there are no such things as unicorns. They're imaginary."

"There are so such things as unicorns!" Toby said defiantly.

"No, there's not." Mrs. Lovett said.

"Yes, there is." Toby argued back.

"No, there's not."

"Yes, there is."

"Yes, there is." Sweeney said, joining the debate.

Mrs. Lovett looked at both of them. "There are no unicorns. They are imaginary."

"Shun the non-believer! Shuuuuunnnn!" Sweeney and Toby said in unison.

"Dear lord, why me?" Mrs. Lovett said to herself as she hit her head against the table.

"You know, I used to have pet hamsters." Sweeney said.

"Fascinating." Mrs. Lovett said sarcastically.

"I had two hamsters." Sweeney said. "Their names where Madonna and Rambo. Then Madonna had babies, buy went all cannibalistic and ate them. Them she killed Rambo. It was pretty awesome to watch."

Mrs. Lovett gave him a blank stare. "Wonderful story Mr. Todd, really." She said after a pause.

"I know!" Sweeney said. "But then my parents told me I wasn't allowed to 'ave any more hamsters."

"I don't really like hamsters." Toby said. "But, I think it would be pretty awesome to have a pet rat. I think I'd name him Edgar or Vincent."

Mrs. Lovett shook her head at him. "Toby, rats are dirty creatures that carry the Black Plague, and besides, no pets!"

Toby crossed his arms and frowned. He stood there and thought for a moment. "How about a…."

"No pets and that's final!" Mrs. Lovett said angrily. "Hey, weren't you supposed to run some errands for me today?"

"Oh, right! Sorry mum, I forgot!" Toby said and quickly ran out the door.

Mrs. Lovett shook her head and smiled. She then continued rolling out the pie dough.

"You know, I've always wanted a camel." Sweeney said after along pause.

"That's nice dear." Mrs. Lovett replied.

"But don't you think it's be nice to have a camel?" he said.

"Mr. Todd, what do you need a camel for in the middle of London?" she said.

"Are you putting down the camels?" Sweeney exclaimed as he held one of his silver straight razors dangerously close to Mrs. Lovett's throat.

"I'm not, I'm not!" Mrs. Lovett cried, her voice full of fright.

"All right, good." Sweeney said as he lowered the razor from Mrs. Lovett's neck. He then walked out of the shop, slamming the door as hard as he could behind him. He stomped up the stairs to his own shop to brood.

Mrs. Lovett shook her head and sighed. "Boys." She muttered to herself and continued her work.

* * *

A/N: "My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro and Madonna and Rambo belong to my seventh grade World History teacher, Mr. Long. (well, **belonged** to Mr. Long) It's a bit of a long story. Ha, I just made a pun! Get it, Mr. **Long **,be**long**ed, **long **story. I crack myself up.


End file.
